사랑

i just bought a new cd on itunes. thanks lukie. its a cd by stephen kellogg and the sixers--bulletproof heart. music suggest by my cousin...and 4 starred by me. just in case you wanted to check it out.

yesterday we had a field trip to Herb Land. we were on the bus for about 45 min to get there. it was sort of ridiculous, but we had fun on the bus. when we got there, all the kids sat in a lil green house at tables and we made soap. here's a video of the kids mixing the oils, water and scrapings.
the kids seemed to have fun making it. they were a lil concerned about getting the hands messy at first, but it was fun. even the teachers got all messy. then we helped them put their names and decorate them with leaves and flowers. i kind of wish i had one myself. we served them lunch there and then ran around the green house a bit.the ride home was a bit more difficult. i put four of my 6 boys in the back of the bus and then sat in front of them with the other two and sarang. the ride home took an hour and by the end of it i was more angry with troy than i had ever been in the past 9 months. he would not listen!!

i have an open class tomorrow. i wrote up my lesson plan for it today. i seem ready...but im putting a lot on the kids. its my best class...jenny, jo, john, coral, ayoung. so i have a lot of faith in them...but its still a lot riding on a bunch of 7yr kids. kay (head teacher) was telling me that i shouldnt care if their whole class pulls out to go to another school. i tried to explain to her that i love these kids and theyre my favorites...and i'd just be really sad. she didnt get it. i dunno. its hard to explain how i feel about some of these kids. well... some of them. like yesterday...on the bus ride home from the field trip. sarang fell asleep on me. i kept having to move her bc i had to deal with other kids. but she slept through it all. she's so small. she's so precious. she's a handful. but through it all, i've gained her trust. she's like a mini-me. so i know its a big deal to have her trust. and i was realizing all this as i looked down at her. she'll probably not remember me in 5 yrs, but i'll always remember her. and i prayed for her right then. that someone would always love her like i do. always care for her as a person...even beyond what her parents can give her. and that someone would be there when she starts asking the big questions...someone with the right answers. and that He would just keep her safe and miraculously help form her into a better person, even though her environment isnt that great. ugh. hopefully when i become a teacher i wont get this attached to my kids.