kindergarten

this past sunday was my first week helping out with children's church at life church. i was a helper in the kindergarten class. there were about 10 children in the class and probably the most energetic kids. it was so much fun! i got to PLAY with kids instead of be a teacher. and it was kinda nice because almost all of these kids are native english speakers. one of the little korean boys, leo, played soccer with me for about a half hour. he was pretty amazing for a 5 yr old. actually he was pretty amazing. besides the fact that at 5 yrs old i doubt i was able to focus on one thing for that long unless i was being forced to. and im pretty sure that forcing me to do anything was very hard work. :D the pastor's son in was in my class as well. his name is hudson. and he is the self-declared leader because he's the biggest. it's fairly good logic at that age. haha...he actually was pretty good at getting the little ones to help out and whatnot :) i hope i get to help with that class again soon. we have a meeting this coming sunday about changing the schedule and whatnot. i feel like i'm actually part of a ministry team again... which to me is the defining moment of being part of a church family.

in 5 days i'll be celebrating my 8 months here. which means only 4 more months. wow. it's going to go by so fast, especially with how busy i'm getting. i'm already really sad. ..well most days. haha. i'm going to miss my kids SO MUCH! today i was giving a test to my favorite class (jenny, john, jo, a-young, and coral). before i could sit down and pass out the test they were all over me...hugs and playing with my hair. and i just started laughing. i called them out on being lil rascals and wanting to butter me up so i wouldnt give them the test. theyre 8 so they dont understand that they'll get it at some point anyways... but it still made me laugh. and they sheepishly giggled when i called them out on it. gosh. i wish i could bring them back with me...

i'm going to beijing! children's day is may 5th. yes. children get a holiday for...themselves. whatever, a day off is a day off. but our boss decided to give us the 4th off as well. so with a 4 day weekend most of the SLP foreign staff decided to vaca in beijing. christina and i have decided on a hostel while the others are staying in a high class hotel... bah! haha. but i'm so excited!! if you have ideas of what we should visit, please share. so far our list is: the great wall, the forbidden city, tiananmen square, bell/drum towers, night market.

thinking about my thinking

i can't believe it's mid-april already. life has continued to pick up pace here is suji-gu, yongin city, south korea. i hardly come home anymore, which makes it that much harder to decide to sit down and write on here. but alas...

well jon has gone and christina is here. the change has been a fairly easy one, for me anyways. christina is from greenwood, indiana--she's an iu graduate. i love spending time with her, and when i'm not running around with life church stuff, i'm usually with her. the night she got here, before i'd even met her, i prayed and asked God if it was at all possible that the 'new girl' be a christian. and man, is He awesome. i don't know why He keeps giving me positive answers to my prayers, but i'm liking it. anyways, it's been awesome to have someone to talk things through with and who is a part of my day to day at SLP and with the coworkers.

speaking of. those 'opportunities' i keep mentioning and praying about...yeah, they keep coming. it's a steady stream, so too many to go into detail about on here (feel free to ask though). but i did want to let you all know that teddy came to church. he came 2 weeks ago (christina's first sunday as well). it'd been a late night for him... ... but he made it. and he said it was good to come and be away from life for a bit.
bobby and i had a really interesting conversation about God. he's grown up catholic and still holds to many of their beliefs, but isn't attending mass and says that he has some things to figure out on his own first. we ended up talking about a lot of his questions about christianity... it was some deep and difficult stuff. the conversation never really ended, and he has every intention of picking it back up again. which is a God-thing because i've been able to talk to several people and get my thoughts more together. but you can definitely be praying for him as well.

so i've decided to stay in my apartment. about a week ago they "tore down" the old wallpaper and "cleaned" the mold and put new stuff up. i'm just accepting what i have and am going to make the most of it. :)

i've been thinking a lot. but i feel like its rushed thinking. i'm not sure how to explain it. but i've been trying to transfer it all into prayers. so instead of reliving my conversations with morg or bobby, i try to pray for them--and pray for my frienships with them. or when i think about family and friends at home...instead of worrying (not being able to be there), i try to pray about it. but yeah. trying is probably the key word in all that...

well, i've gotten terribly behind on my grading. i have no motivation to do it when i finally get home. so i'm going to try going to bed early and waking up early... haha, i know: good luck!

bright

it's amazing what a person can get done when they wake up at 5:45am and can't fall back asleep...

i've got half of my puzzle done at this point. i've only got a lil over a week to finish it because i'll be moving. i guess i haven't explained that, so... my apartment has mold in it. a lot. and the landlord decided to just put some wallpaper on top of the mold and say that it's fixed. i don't agree. so i'm moving into jon's apartment when he leaves on april 6th. our new coworker flew in last night. her name is christina, or christie. today will be her first day of training/observation. and we're going on a field trip today! :) we're going to the kyeonggi museum. i live in kyeonggi...it's the name of all the seoul suburbs.

so there is a new pastor dude that is preaching on wednesdays at mosaic. he's british and a fun speaker. his past two sermons/lessons/messages/whatever have been about influence. how basically everything we say, even do, is an influence on the people and environment around us. it's quite a bit of pressure as a christian. i mean we're walking around saying that we're following Jesus, God, and when we do good it shows Him. and when we do bad ... it shows Him too ... ?? :-\ well that's what a lot of people think anyways. last night he talked more specifically about opportunities for influence. for good and for God. opportunities. we just have to choose to shine in those moments. even if saying nothing is the brightest light.

sorry, i had to go turn my alarm off :( right now my fingers are crossed. my straightener isn't heating up. i've already had to mourn the loss of my curling iron... looks like i'll be styling a ponytail today.

i finally finished velvet elvis. it really is as good as all the hype. on one of the last pages he makes a good point. "why blame the dark for being dark? it is far more helpful to ask why the light isn't as bright as it could be."

yellow dust

so the past 2 days have been yellow dust days. in korea they call it 황사 (hwangsa). we've had them before, but i've always gotten the friendly broadcasted text msgs in the morning to give me a heads up. anyways, yellow dust is amazing weather... but the problem is that being outside is considered hazardous because of the pollution. any korean will explain this as desert pollution from china and then immediately shake their head in disapproval. it is highly recommended that if you have to be outside you wear a mask, preferrably cloth--maybe even a bit damp--to prevent inhalation. maybe tomorrow i'll get a picture of one of the kids with one on. or teddy, cuz he wants to buy one. anyways, some day i might have cancer as a result of these 황사....just thought i'd share. i'll have to get a picture of how bright and yellow the sky ends up looking all day.

a friend from my old church, seung min, took me out for dinner on saturday as a birthday gift. she also bought me this sweet sunflower field puzzle. it makes me miss my daddy a whole bunch.

so pastor jack has started a new sermon series on truths that are in danger of becoming extinct. the past 2 sermons have been really good, and particularly relevant for me right now. the first one was about faith--needing to believe in big things God wants to do for you and through you. the next sermon was about religious pluralism--the false belief that all religions believe the same thing and as long as you follow one you'll end up ok. i wish all my coworkers couldve been there for this past sermon... but i was able to share a bit with teddy, jon and morg on monday morning about it. (they don't think its appropriate for amanda and i to make small commentary during sermons..."tsk tsk") this coming week PJ will talk about hell. we'll see if this ends up being the week teddy shows... :-D

i got a huge folder-cut right on the crease by my thumb. it hurts so bad and it isn't healing because if i extend my thumb it opens up the wound again. and yes. it is a wound. mama, what do i do?

also, i'm going to be moving within the next three weeks. so if you have creative ideas of how i should decorate my new apt...please share! :-)

ramyeon

right now i'm sitting in my apartment eating some spicy ramyeon (ramen) with my new chopsticks. i havent had ramyeon since christmas bc i left my chopsticks in chicago and you cant eat it without them. so i finally remembered to pick some up. but anyways, it's about 10:45pm right now and i just started a bit of laundry... i could be doing it for 2 days straight, but i wont. i just got back from my first bible study. it's small, just a married couple--jennyfer and nick, katherine and me. katherine's got the cutest little girl, katelyn. its nice to be around a lil blonde baby for a change. this week's reading is on gideon, so i'll be reading up on judges 7,8,9 for next week... hopefully ;-)

last night was church. i didnt realize how tired i was until i got on the bus to go and nearly fell asleep (only 10 min ride). and during worship i was feeling so drained and not into it at all. but then pastor jack went up front and the first thing he said was "i was sitting in the back, looking out over everyone here tonight and i just felt like God was telling me to go up and say that He is a God of second chances, a God of opportunities. i don't know who needed to hear it, but that's the peace i need to share with you." it was one of those moments. you know, those moments. and my eyes got all watery. God spoke to me. it was what i needed to hear. you see that afternoon after lunch hugh, jon, teddy, morgan and i went to a park to chill for a while. it was beautiful out and we weren't eager to sit in the office with nothing to do. we talked about anything and everything...like the selection of restaurants in suji, the boiling point of water, morgan's haircut experience, the exercise machines in the park, how little korean kids think its ok to stick their fingers in our butts, etc... well while morg and hugh were off exploring the exercise things, teddy asked me about church again. he said something about someone being really religious and that he doesn't get it. he doesnt have anything against it, but he doesn't get it. and jon piped in with a comment about how its just too much, like going so far from science and facts. and in response to most of their comments i just asked them questions. why? why does religion make them uncomfortable? why is it too hard to believe in the whole parting of the sea (jon's hang up)? and they'd talk for a while. but i just sat there. they wanted to talk about it. i just sat there. i didnt defend anything. i did explain anything. i just sat there. FAIL

i can think of SO MANY people who should be here. should be working in SLP hagwon. should be friends with these people. should be having these conversations. should be representing Christ. they would be so much better. they would know what to say. they would be smarter. they would be quicker. they wouldn't fail. but you know what. God is going to give me more chances.

and for the first time i'm praying for more chances from the God of opportunities

MY six month marker

today. february 28th. is my six month marker.

i have learned so much.

most of you know what it's like to go on missions trips and come back and be so completely overwhelmed by everything you've just experienced and learned. you can't put it into words. there isn't anyone who can understand. and its completely wonderful. and its completely lonely.

i've been to a couple different places. not as many as some, but a couple more than most. and i'd like to think i've experienced a bit of "life" here and there. but God brought me to korea to be nothing. to have no one. to listen. to learn.

i got an email today. it wasn't my favorite one, to say the least. but something i've learned since being here is i shouldn't just sit around and ponder things. i need to ask God the questions. so i did. "why?" i mean, He's big enough to answer. "why failure?" "why disappointment?" "why when we try so hard...for you" and, He answered. cuz He's cool like that. He used rob bell and josh kelley, haha. i'll share part of His answer...

the worst mistake is giving up
pulling back when you've had too much
of not knowing where you belong

the one thing i am certain of
is time will change each one of us
for this you're not on your own
so open your voice and be strong

you are not alone
you are what you believe
you are not alone
you're a part of everything

when life gets you down
set your soul at ease
you are not alone
you're a part of everything

-----, He chose us. He believes in us.

r-e-s-p-e-c-t

hugh, one of my canadian coworkers, is about to lose one of his preschool classes at the beginning of march. it's really affecting him and that is hard for me to sit back and watch. (in general people working at hagwons look at their job as a job.) when i got a chance to talk to hugh in private about everything that's going on, he said something that shocked me. he used the word love about his students. he looked right at me and said it. it was real. then he looked back in at his class and just watched them. i realized right then that whatever financial or educational reasons our boss has for this change, NOTHING could be as big or important as how he feels about each one of them. jokingly we refer to hugh as the old man... being 25 and all, haha. but in reality, there are moments just like that that make me realize he really is worth respecting.

on wednesday evenings life church hosts a service at a cafe they started. i've gone for the past 3 weeks and, not surprisingly, enjoy the mid-week refreshment, encouragement, and fellowship. after the testimony given this week (which you should ask me about sometime) i quickly fell into conversation with a lady i'd met the week before. her name is joyce (easy enough to remember!). she's korean, but at the age of 12 moved to chicago. about 6 months ago she moved to korea for the first time with her husband. she was 7 months pregnant. now she has the most adorable baby boy, christian. however now she is facing struggles she didn't see coming --relating to family life in korea. not only has she had to adjust to korean culture but she is also dealing with family expectations. her questions are real... where does christian family culture, american family culture and korean family culture differ? how do she and her husband stay true to christian family values when they conflict with korean culture? and then the underlying question...how does she use this as a testimony to her nonchristian family and korean friends? her questions and frustrations and goals are so different from mine. there is little for me to connect with. yet, they are so powerful. and i was truly moved by this young korean-american mother standing in front of me.

i love that the people i meet and interact with in my day to day are so different from me and each other. God is bringing people into my path that are wise and inspirational. even if i haven't got the slightest idea of how to be a part of their lives. ...at least i'm watching and learning for now.