in the arms of your mercy

in case none of you figured it out...the name of my blog comes from a song by casting crowns. i heard it at the kizer's cottage the weekend after i decided to go ahead with the whole korea teaching adventure. the title of this post is from the same song...

i need rest. and no matter how many times i've realized this in the past, i keep thinking i'm strong enough to just push through. and while yes, with God's help, i am able to... i still need rest. and just like casting crowns so eloquently put it, i find it in the arms of God's mercy. i finally collapsed into a huge sitdown with my Bible. i could say that i soaked up every word, but it was more like it was absorbing me... kinda hard to explain. maybe something like the picture of God wrapping his arms around and enveloping us. sort of. [things are so hard right now. please pray.]

it's summer! today was such a beautiful day :) the sun was out for my walk to work. i even got to go out during a break and work on kids' report cards while sipping on my third iced latte of the day...haha. this week is my 9 month marker. which means i'm 3/4 done and after 3 months of summer here i'll be back in the states. i've filled out an application for grace college as a transfer student to the elementary education program. i'm READY for the supportive/protective Christian bubble again.

please listen/watch casting crowns' song prayer for a friend. even if it's just once... pray it.

beijing

--didn't your mama ever tell you not to talk to strangers--

christina (my coworker that replaced jon) and i went on holiday together to beijing. we flew with morgan, teddy and bobby...but didnt stay in their five star hotel. our hostel was amazing...if you ever go to beijing you have to stay in the jade youth hostel! its soo close to everything and clean and helpful! anyways...we went for 4 days. we had 2 days off of work for children's day...amazing, i know.

on saturday we got to our hostel around 11 and were off exploring by 12. we accidentally found a catholic church and accidentally started talking to a man that said he was a teacher there. since the doors were locked he offered to show us in... sketchy, i know. we ended up downstairs in the back classroom building looking at paintings they were trying to sell for the church. haha... it was fine. i ended up buying 2 for less than $20. then we wandered around and got food, didnt know what to order but it ended up being good. we eventually found tiananmen square...which was HUGE! none of the buildings were open in it, so we wandered around and took pictures before leaving and going shopping. on our walk home at the end of the night we walked past the night market and fully experienced the smells, but didnt check out the foods. exhausted, we agreed on a great wall tour and hit the showers/beds.

we woke up at 6am to be on the bus at 7am for our great wall tour. our guide's name was johnny. johnny is a girl :) she was actually a decent guide...not annoyingly peppy, but still interesting and informative. we ended up taking a couple detours before the wall... (that's what happens when you're on a communist government run tour) we went to the ming tombs. it was pretty interesting and a nice walk. then we were off to a eastern medicine/nursing home...here we saw some doctors that told us whether our organs were well balanced with yin and yang and then tried to sell us meds. after that we headed for a jade factory... saw it being cleaned and shaped, and being sold ridiculously overpriced. we ate lunch there, which was pretty good, and then finally headed for the great wall. from there it was about an hour. when we got there we decided to take a chair up the wall and then begin our allotted 2 hrs on the wall...gov rules... it was really fun and a good view. the wall was pretty hard to climb. the stairs were either barely stairs or 90* angels. but i'm glad i went all the way...and past. christina and i met a flight attendant and were spending our day with him...alex. anyways, the three of us walked past the no admittance sign and got to see a bit of the real wall...not redone. the view was amazing. i wish we'd gotten more time to sit up there... maybe even a bit more silence, haha. but it is true that it's almost easier to feel God's presence when you're that high up. and seeing the mountains go on forever... He really does like showing off ;) anyways, we hiked back down and then rode a toboggan done...so much fun!! and then bussed back for almost 3 hrs. that night we met up with morg, bobby and teddy for dinner. we went to a pretty famous restaurant and had some famous peking duck. it was pretty good :)

the next day, xtina and i woke up and headed for the forbidden city at 9. ...and then a guy asked us what "expire" means... one of the most frustrating situations of my life took place... and at 10:15 we started off from the man's painting shop annoyed and not at all guilted into buying anything. but the palace was incredible. it was so huge. every building was big and there were HUNDREDS of buildings. i would be surprised if we saw half of them. when we left there we got a taxi to the summer palace...a bit out of the city. so we payed 46 yuan. i really enjoyed our time at the summer palace. we took out a paddle boat on the lake in front of it, and it was such a good day. then we walked pretty high up and got to see a good view of the city. it was so relaxing, and much less exhausting than the wall ;) the cab driver charged us 146yuan on the ride back. so we stopped him right away...but then he claimed our money was fake... so i said a prayer and we walked away hoping he'd just stay in the car and leave us alone. but now we were lost and penniless, not to mention completely pissed. we made it home and vowed that no one in china was getting anymore of our money... and then we out to eat and shopping, haha. we caught the end of the night market and then found another market where christina ate some scorpions (check facebook for the video...actually lots of videos).

the next morning i ended up sick. xtina went out exploring without me and when we checked out we took it easy on the wangfujing walking street and a side market. around 3:30 we went back, got our luggage, and grabbed a taxi to the airport. and i didnt get stopped from entering either country despite the quarantine check points and temperature sensors... :)

anyways, beijing was such a great experience. we got to see a lot in 4 days. we got to meet some really awesome people...and some crazy ones...and some frustrating ones. and we learned a lot.

kindergarten

this past sunday was my first week helping out with children's church at life church. i was a helper in the kindergarten class. there were about 10 children in the class and probably the most energetic kids. it was so much fun! i got to PLAY with kids instead of be a teacher. and it was kinda nice because almost all of these kids are native english speakers. one of the little korean boys, leo, played soccer with me for about a half hour. he was pretty amazing for a 5 yr old. actually he was pretty amazing. besides the fact that at 5 yrs old i doubt i was able to focus on one thing for that long unless i was being forced to. and im pretty sure that forcing me to do anything was very hard work. :D the pastor's son in was in my class as well. his name is hudson. and he is the self-declared leader because he's the biggest. it's fairly good logic at that age. haha...he actually was pretty good at getting the little ones to help out and whatnot :) i hope i get to help with that class again soon. we have a meeting this coming sunday about changing the schedule and whatnot. i feel like i'm actually part of a ministry team again... which to me is the defining moment of being part of a church family.

in 5 days i'll be celebrating my 8 months here. which means only 4 more months. wow. it's going to go by so fast, especially with how busy i'm getting. i'm already really sad. ..well most days. haha. i'm going to miss my kids SO MUCH! today i was giving a test to my favorite class (jenny, john, jo, a-young, and coral). before i could sit down and pass out the test they were all over me...hugs and playing with my hair. and i just started laughing. i called them out on being lil rascals and wanting to butter me up so i wouldnt give them the test. theyre 8 so they dont understand that they'll get it at some point anyways... but it still made me laugh. and they sheepishly giggled when i called them out on it. gosh. i wish i could bring them back with me...

i'm going to beijing! children's day is may 5th. yes. children get a holiday for...themselves. whatever, a day off is a day off. but our boss decided to give us the 4th off as well. so with a 4 day weekend most of the SLP foreign staff decided to vaca in beijing. christina and i have decided on a hostel while the others are staying in a high class hotel... bah! haha. but i'm so excited!! if you have ideas of what we should visit, please share. so far our list is: the great wall, the forbidden city, tiananmen square, bell/drum towers, night market.

thinking about my thinking

i can't believe it's mid-april already. life has continued to pick up pace here is suji-gu, yongin city, south korea. i hardly come home anymore, which makes it that much harder to decide to sit down and write on here. but alas...

well jon has gone and christina is here. the change has been a fairly easy one, for me anyways. christina is from greenwood, indiana--she's an iu graduate. i love spending time with her, and when i'm not running around with life church stuff, i'm usually with her. the night she got here, before i'd even met her, i prayed and asked God if it was at all possible that the 'new girl' be a christian. and man, is He awesome. i don't know why He keeps giving me positive answers to my prayers, but i'm liking it. anyways, it's been awesome to have someone to talk things through with and who is a part of my day to day at SLP and with the coworkers.

speaking of. those 'opportunities' i keep mentioning and praying about...yeah, they keep coming. it's a steady stream, so too many to go into detail about on here (feel free to ask though). but i did want to let you all know that teddy came to church. he came 2 weeks ago (christina's first sunday as well). it'd been a late night for him... ... but he made it. and he said it was good to come and be away from life for a bit.
bobby and i had a really interesting conversation about God. he's grown up catholic and still holds to many of their beliefs, but isn't attending mass and says that he has some things to figure out on his own first. we ended up talking about a lot of his questions about christianity... it was some deep and difficult stuff. the conversation never really ended, and he has every intention of picking it back up again. which is a God-thing because i've been able to talk to several people and get my thoughts more together. but you can definitely be praying for him as well.

so i've decided to stay in my apartment. about a week ago they "tore down" the old wallpaper and "cleaned" the mold and put new stuff up. i'm just accepting what i have and am going to make the most of it. :)

i've been thinking a lot. but i feel like its rushed thinking. i'm not sure how to explain it. but i've been trying to transfer it all into prayers. so instead of reliving my conversations with morg or bobby, i try to pray for them--and pray for my frienships with them. or when i think about family and friends at home...instead of worrying (not being able to be there), i try to pray about it. but yeah. trying is probably the key word in all that...

well, i've gotten terribly behind on my grading. i have no motivation to do it when i finally get home. so i'm going to try going to bed early and waking up early... haha, i know: good luck!

bright

it's amazing what a person can get done when they wake up at 5:45am and can't fall back asleep...

i've got half of my puzzle done at this point. i've only got a lil over a week to finish it because i'll be moving. i guess i haven't explained that, so... my apartment has mold in it. a lot. and the landlord decided to just put some wallpaper on top of the mold and say that it's fixed. i don't agree. so i'm moving into jon's apartment when he leaves on april 6th. our new coworker flew in last night. her name is christina, or christie. today will be her first day of training/observation. and we're going on a field trip today! :) we're going to the kyeonggi museum. i live in kyeonggi...it's the name of all the seoul suburbs.

so there is a new pastor dude that is preaching on wednesdays at mosaic. he's british and a fun speaker. his past two sermons/lessons/messages/whatever have been about influence. how basically everything we say, even do, is an influence on the people and environment around us. it's quite a bit of pressure as a christian. i mean we're walking around saying that we're following Jesus, God, and when we do good it shows Him. and when we do bad ... it shows Him too ... ?? :-\ well that's what a lot of people think anyways. last night he talked more specifically about opportunities for influence. for good and for God. opportunities. we just have to choose to shine in those moments. even if saying nothing is the brightest light.

sorry, i had to go turn my alarm off :( right now my fingers are crossed. my straightener isn't heating up. i've already had to mourn the loss of my curling iron... looks like i'll be styling a ponytail today.

i finally finished velvet elvis. it really is as good as all the hype. on one of the last pages he makes a good point. "why blame the dark for being dark? it is far more helpful to ask why the light isn't as bright as it could be."

yellow dust

so the past 2 days have been yellow dust days. in korea they call it 황사 (hwangsa). we've had them before, but i've always gotten the friendly broadcasted text msgs in the morning to give me a heads up. anyways, yellow dust is amazing weather... but the problem is that being outside is considered hazardous because of the pollution. any korean will explain this as desert pollution from china and then immediately shake their head in disapproval. it is highly recommended that if you have to be outside you wear a mask, preferrably cloth--maybe even a bit damp--to prevent inhalation. maybe tomorrow i'll get a picture of one of the kids with one on. or teddy, cuz he wants to buy one. anyways, some day i might have cancer as a result of these 황사....just thought i'd share. i'll have to get a picture of how bright and yellow the sky ends up looking all day.

a friend from my old church, seung min, took me out for dinner on saturday as a birthday gift. she also bought me this sweet sunflower field puzzle. it makes me miss my daddy a whole bunch.

so pastor jack has started a new sermon series on truths that are in danger of becoming extinct. the past 2 sermons have been really good, and particularly relevant for me right now. the first one was about faith--needing to believe in big things God wants to do for you and through you. the next sermon was about religious pluralism--the false belief that all religions believe the same thing and as long as you follow one you'll end up ok. i wish all my coworkers couldve been there for this past sermon... but i was able to share a bit with teddy, jon and morg on monday morning about it. (they don't think its appropriate for amanda and i to make small commentary during sermons..."tsk tsk") this coming week PJ will talk about hell. we'll see if this ends up being the week teddy shows... :-D

i got a huge folder-cut right on the crease by my thumb. it hurts so bad and it isn't healing because if i extend my thumb it opens up the wound again. and yes. it is a wound. mama, what do i do?

also, i'm going to be moving within the next three weeks. so if you have creative ideas of how i should decorate my new apt...please share! :-)

ramyeon

right now i'm sitting in my apartment eating some spicy ramyeon (ramen) with my new chopsticks. i havent had ramyeon since christmas bc i left my chopsticks in chicago and you cant eat it without them. so i finally remembered to pick some up. but anyways, it's about 10:45pm right now and i just started a bit of laundry... i could be doing it for 2 days straight, but i wont. i just got back from my first bible study. it's small, just a married couple--jennyfer and nick, katherine and me. katherine's got the cutest little girl, katelyn. its nice to be around a lil blonde baby for a change. this week's reading is on gideon, so i'll be reading up on judges 7,8,9 for next week... hopefully ;-)

last night was church. i didnt realize how tired i was until i got on the bus to go and nearly fell asleep (only 10 min ride). and during worship i was feeling so drained and not into it at all. but then pastor jack went up front and the first thing he said was "i was sitting in the back, looking out over everyone here tonight and i just felt like God was telling me to go up and say that He is a God of second chances, a God of opportunities. i don't know who needed to hear it, but that's the peace i need to share with you." it was one of those moments. you know, those moments. and my eyes got all watery. God spoke to me. it was what i needed to hear. you see that afternoon after lunch hugh, jon, teddy, morgan and i went to a park to chill for a while. it was beautiful out and we weren't eager to sit in the office with nothing to do. we talked about anything and everything...like the selection of restaurants in suji, the boiling point of water, morgan's haircut experience, the exercise machines in the park, how little korean kids think its ok to stick their fingers in our butts, etc... well while morg and hugh were off exploring the exercise things, teddy asked me about church again. he said something about someone being really religious and that he doesn't get it. he doesnt have anything against it, but he doesn't get it. and jon piped in with a comment about how its just too much, like going so far from science and facts. and in response to most of their comments i just asked them questions. why? why does religion make them uncomfortable? why is it too hard to believe in the whole parting of the sea (jon's hang up)? and they'd talk for a while. but i just sat there. they wanted to talk about it. i just sat there. i didnt defend anything. i did explain anything. i just sat there. FAIL

i can think of SO MANY people who should be here. should be working in SLP hagwon. should be friends with these people. should be having these conversations. should be representing Christ. they would be so much better. they would know what to say. they would be smarter. they would be quicker. they wouldn't fail. but you know what. God is going to give me more chances.

and for the first time i'm praying for more chances from the God of opportunities